Alpaca My Bags

Passing through the Pearly Gates into the Desert Oasis shocked my system. Sweetie Bastard said San Fran would not miss me. How dare he move me, sight unseen, into the sizzling desert? Learning the ropes in the Oasis takes a steep learning curve. Nice is hard for a girl with a twangy Texas accent, who dislikes girly crafts and friendly neighbors. Trying to please my man, I sign up for water aerobics, and I don't do water. Day one in the Oasis, the water aerobics ladies take a swim class with Dan, the Oasis athletic director, submerged at the bottom of the too-blue swimming pool. From there, living in the Oasis goes downhill. How will I ever acclimate to this new lifestyle? Download my first story, learn what makes this ol' Texas gal tick. Will I kill Sweetie Bastard for moving me to the desert? Can I adjust to living in a tin can underneath the broiling Arizona sun?